Jesus With a Teddy Bear and a Possibly Gay Lumberjack? (Things I Saw on Facebook This Week)

I spend too much time on Facebook. There, I said it. It’s not so much that I care about much of anything I see there. It’s really just a habit now. It’s something I’ve been doing so long that I can’t seem to stop. But, there are things about Facebook that are starting to get to me. Okay, I guess it’s not things about Facebook so much as it is things about [some of] the people I follow on Facebook.

Things keep popping up in my newsfeed that just make me want to go find the Internet-generating supercomputer housed in Al Gore’s basement and smash it with an enormous sledgehammer until I’ve demolished humanity back to 1991! (Don’t ask why 1991–it’s just an arbitrary year prior to the time when most of humanity had Internet access.) Mostly it’s those “funny” eCards that were all the rage….3 years ago. Or, it’s the pictures that are captioned something like “Hit “like” and type “Amen” and see what happens.” Or, it’s the inaccurate posts about “In God We Trust” being taken off of “new” quarters….because it wasn’t and it’s 5 years old. Okay, I’ll stop. You know the posts I’m talking about. But, there were a couple of things I saw multiple times this week that require comment….YES….they REQUIRE MY comment.

Under the heading “Why the hell do you care?”:

Maybe he can’t change a tire, but I’ll be he knows one doesn’t “fall” a tree, but one might “fell” a tree.

I saw this gem at least three times over the last five days. Since when do men care so much about what other men are wearing? I thought that was one of the things that we [the XY set] reserved for the female of the species. Seriously, gentlemen. Is your masculinity so fragile that it cannot withstand assault from a bearded man in a flannel shirt who cannot change a tire or “fall” a tree? (For the record: the correct verb to use there is FELL, not fall. One does not “fall” a tree, however, one may “fell” a tree…bearded or not.)

Stop it. This is 2015. Men of all shapes, sizes, persuasions, and vocations have been wearing beards long before you developed an inferiority complex. Go see your doctor, get some testosterone, and move on. We need your time, talents and abilities to be used productively, please.

Under the heading “Jesus doesn’t work that way.”:


Jesus isn't in the habit of stealing toys from little girls.
Jesus isn’t in the habit of stealing toys from little girls.

I get the message you’re trying to communicate here, but WOW…did you go about it in

a really, REALLY bad way!

Jesus is not in the business of handing out teddy bears to little girls; and he sure isn’t in the business of requiring those little girls to first hand over the one they already have! That’s just not how Jesus works. He’s not Monty Hall and the Christian faith isn’t “Let’s Make a Deal”.

Stop it. Jesus wants our love, our trust, our devotion. In return He gives us freedom, life, love, and joy. This is the sort of thing that causes countless numbers of people to be turned off and turned away from faith in Christ. “Look at everything I gave up and he didn’t give me anything in return.” If you want to spread the message of Christ, by all means do it; but, by all means do it the right way.

There you have ’em. A couple of my Facebook peeves from this week. There were a lot more, trust me, but these two really made my head spin. They are the things that made me wonder why I stay. Oh, don’t worry, though. I’m not gong anywhere because those “Hey everyone I’m going to be deleting my Facebook…” posts are just as annoying as Jesus with a teddy bear and lumberjacks of questionable sexual orientation.


8 thoughts on “Jesus With a Teddy Bear and a Possibly Gay Lumberjack? (Things I Saw on Facebook This Week)

Add yours

      1. Oh. In this case tense doesn’t matter. Fell is correct whether it is present or past tense.


      1. Oh sorry! lol…I didn’t get the irony. Just for sheet interest, though, here’s an explanation:

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Link says the blog does not exist, Jason. Anyway, I’m perfectly clear on the ‘fall’ / ‘fell’ question – sorry to have caused the confusion with the failed ironic ‘wit’; it isn’t the first time it’s happened to me!

        Liked by 1 person

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