One of the benefits of growing up in the Methodist Church is that I was exposed to most, if not all, of the great hymns and songs of Christendom. Week after week I opened the hymnal in my pew to hymns like, “O, For a Thousand Tongues to Sing,” “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty,” and “To God Be the Glory.” It was these hymns and songs that first taught me about who God is; about Jesus’s great love for me; about what a powerful friend I have in the Holy Spirit. Don’t get me wrong, there are many great modern worship songs, but the words to these songs are the foundation of my faith. More and more, they are also its anchor.
One of those great hymns I learned at a very early age was, “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” I can’t tell you how many times I sang it in church as a child, then as a teen, and finally into adulthood. The number is probably in the hundreds. But, it wasn’t until I was almost 30 years old that the words of that hymn were burned into my mind and on my heart.
It was a terrible time in my life. I was in my first, and what would be my only, semester of school at East Texas Baptist University. Despite great hope and great help from many friends and family, I found myself on the precipice of failure once again. I knew that when school was out in December I wouldn’t be coming back. I would, once again, forfeit a chance at success because of the fear with which I’d become so familiar, and from which I could not escape.
I was in the University Chorus. As a matter of fact, I was Baritone Section Leader. We were preparing for our fall concert and one of the pieces we were going to perform was a truly magnificent setting of that hymn with which I was so familiar–or so I thought. It was during a Tuesday afternoon rehearsal that the sealing of my heart took place.
Everything seemed normal. I already knew the words and the music, so all I had to pay attention to were the nuances that Mr. Moore, the choir director, added. Then, midway through the second verse, it was as if I was hearing and singing the words for the first time.
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God.
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
O, to grace how great a debtor,
Daily I’m constrained to be.
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, O, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
I was overcome. My voice broke and tears welled up in my eyes. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and my knees felt like they were giving way. It was in that moment that I saw myself in the light of God’s grace and mercy. It was in that moment that I realized His love for me was far deeper than the scars left behind by each one of my disappointments and failures.
I couldn’t sing the rest of the song. I just stood there, crying. Each time Mr. Moore stopped to fix a problem I would compose myself, but each time we started again, I was overcome. Even days later in the concert I could only get through the first verse before the feelings came over me. Oddly, no one seemed to notice that each time we sang the song I stopped midway through; not the students around me, and not Mr. Moore.
That was 14 years ago and I still cannot sing that hymn all the way through without breaking. It is, in a very real, non-poetic sense, the song of my heart. It is the song that reminds me just how loving God is. It is the song that reminds me just how far Jesus has gone to seek me out.
There was a time, not too long ago, when I was turned away by people who call themselves Christians. It was during one of the most desperate hours of my life when I needed to know the love of Jesus most. Instead, I was judged, convicted, and sentenced to separation from the church. I was angry and hurt. I felt lost and alone. But, once again, this song was there.
The fact of the matter is that in each and every instance of heartache and pain in my life, the words to this great hymn always find their way back into my head. Each time I feel that familiar urge to turn away, I am reminded just how far Jesus has come for me. I’m reminded that my heart is sealed by God’s grace.
I guess it would be easier to turn away, and I almost did. I guess it would be easier to simply stop believing, and there was a time when I considered it. I guess it would be easier to forget everything I know to be true. There were many times I tried. Try as I might, I cannot turn away; I cannot stop believing; I cannot simply forget, because each time I do, there is this song.
So many people are hurting just now. So many people are in pain, and are afraid, and are lonely, and are angry. Our nation is, once again, riven with strife and enmity. We find ourselves turned against one another by people who profit from our fear and anger. It would be so easy to turn away and deny God. Even still, “Jesus sought [us] when a stranger…”
I still can’t get through it. Even now, writing this, my heart is racing and my eyes are full of tears. I know that I am bound to God, not by chains or shackles, but by His goodness. My heart is sealed, not by His anger, but by His love. I know that Jesus is still seeking me, not to punish me, but to rescue me.
How I wish I could really put into words what this hymn means to me, but none of them seem to do it justice. So, I’ll leave you with the hymn itself. This is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performing the same setting of “Come, Thou Found of Every Blessing” that so moved me all those years ago. I hope you find it as meaningful as I do.
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
The United Methodist Hymnal Number 400
Text: Robert Robinson, 1735-1790
Music: Wyeth’s Repository of Sacred Music, Part Second
Tune: NETTLETON, Meter: 87.87 D
1. Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.
2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I’m come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.
3. O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.