Somewhere in rural Vermont, or New Hampshire, or Virginia, or Georgia, or Tennessee, or Texas, or Colorado, or Wyoming, or Oregon (you get the picture) there is a small cabin. It’s an old cabin, built many years ago by bigger, stronger and better hands than mine. The cabin is well off the beaten path and has no telephone or television. Heat for cooking and comfort is available only with wood and a match. The cabin sits in a clearing amidst a stand of tall trees on a little hill overlooking a small pond. There is a garden that provides plenty of fruits and vegetables. Town is far enough away not to be a disturbance but close enough to be convenient for necessities.
A window in the cabin overlooks the pond and, when open, provides a cool breeze that blows through. Day by day I sit at a desk next to the window where I have my computer sitting. (No heavy typewriters for me…too dangerous!) I write for hours — banging away at the ‘great American novel’. When I’m hungry, I eat. When I need fresh air I go outside. But, mostly I write. Because that’s what I want to do…write!
Can you see it? I can.
I suppose this vision is a bit Misery-esque, save the crazed fan with sledge hammer and old typewriter, but I think for me the point is that all I want to do is write. I loathe the idea of being constrained by office hours or a schedule. I want to be able to work when I feel creative and relax when I do not. I want the little cabin and the trees and the pond and the garden and the quiet. I want it literally, but I will take it metaphorically. Either way, I want to write!
Unfortunately, my dream does not fit very well with the world we live in. There aren’t very many people who have the luxury and the ability to just be writers and nothing else. Bills must be paid, obligations must be met and nobody eats for free! I guess I could give in to reality and be done with it. That’s what most people would expect me to do because I’m so…..practical. But, I can’t. I can’t just give up on it that easily. I have never wanted anything in life more than I want this.
I have to find a way to make this happen and I’m not too sure how to do that. That is what I have to figure out because all I want to do is write.
December 28th, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Hot dang there boy!! You’ve reached into the recesses of you soul and poured out the liquor of want to. I love it! I give you an A+ on this one. You can extend it into that novel just by continuing
December 28th, 2011 at 7:26 pm
You know, there are abou three different novels floating around in my head right now. Who knows what any of them will ultimately look like. Now….I gotta find that cabin!
December 28th, 2011 at 10:14 pm
Create the cabin wherever you are. Sounds like you have found the balm for your soul. Happy New Year, my friend!!!!
December 29th, 2011 at 12:12 am
Yes, I think so! Happy New Year to you, too.
December 28th, 2011 at 11:35 pm
Getting real and writing past the fear is the hardest part of writing. You are already there. Keep writing, no matter what. When it feels impossible, write anyway. Read, if you haven’t already, Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones and Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. You have nothing to lose by writing but your fear.
December 29th, 2011 at 12:11 am
Margaret, thank you for taking the time to read and reply. It is very encouraging to me! I will take a look at both books you recommended and I hope you will continue to read.